Monday, February 13, 2012

New technology, same old $hit

Technology is not my friend.  Wait, let me rephrase: I am not technology's friend.  I maul, nay, kill phones, computers, DVD players, and assorted men.  So, after killing my last phone I finally bought an android smart phone.  I then downloaded the "poo-poo diary" app.  It enables you to record your individual BMs, time, size, color, and any specific notes you desire.  I have been recording my BMs (and have managed NOT to kill the phone - go me) for the past three weeks, and while I will save you the details (you're welcome) I've discovered: I poop; a lot. Anywhere from 5 to 25 times a day. (Okay so I shared some details.)

This doesn't surprise me. But it can be disheartening to see it all laid out on a calendar.  Especially with my GI telling me that my Crohn's appears to be under control and it is in fact my IBS that is causing my "active-like" symptoms.  Twenty five times a day feels a bit excessive for IBS. 

I am pending a referral to Mt. Sinai in NYC for a second opinion.  It can't come soon enough. 

Monday, January 16, 2012

Too much, too soon?

Due to excitement about life changes (loss of job, start of school) and an influx of some green (due to well placed investments) I spent the last few days out and about. I mean, I actually got up and out of bed prior to 9 AM, showered, dressed in non-lounge or pajama style clothes and left the house. Three days in a row!!!! Considering I was inpatient less than three weeks ago, and earlier this week taking a shower resulted in requiring a nap , all of this is quite an accomplishment.

The downside to all of this activity is the resulting exhaustion. My brain is still awake and ready to go - my body? not so much. I'm bone tired. Have you ever been bone tired? It's the kind of tired where you lay in bed giving yourself a pep-talk: "C'mon, you have to get up. You don't have to leave the house, you don't have to get dressed. You don't even have to look in the mirror or brush your hair, but you can't pee in bed."

I need to remember that short spurts of energy are just that: short. And moderation is key in everything; including moderation.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Hello from hiatus!

So. . . It's been a while. Life has continued on and so has crohn's - and the return of what appears to by my annual flare. After a relatively easy going summer - symptom wise, the onslaught of fall, its weather changes, and the trials of being a Type A personality in a Grade D functioning body brought on the joys of a new flare that showed its face right around Halloween. In hopes of getting ahead of stress and symptoms, I preemptively went out of work. To no avail, symptoms continued to worsen, leading to upwards of 15 BMs a day, blood and mucus.
Pain and dehydration, and repeat ER visits landed me inpatient for 5 days just prior to Christmas. The Christmas eve discharge left me with a new cocktail of medications now including Cymbalta, Zofran, Prednison (no taper - nice steady dose of 40 mg), Ativan, Purnethol (6MP), Nopramin, Humira, Hydromorphone and Oxycodone, and steroidal suppositories.

I saw my GP/ PCP last week and he (for not the first time) suggested a referral down to Boston. It has been the 5th hospitalization in 3 years. Back and forth to the ER for dehydration refills, with no true respite from continuing pain. The referral to Boston would be to a larger teaching hospital to have my case evaluated by a new set of eyes and determined if this is the most appropriate cocktail for me.

I will need to start tapering the steroids soon, and that is always when internal bleeding begins again (not that it has truly stopped at this point). So as we wean this, we increase that. I've been doing this hokey pokey for three years now, and I'm all shook out. I see my GI this Thursday to discuss referrals and a'Boston I will go.

Even though the daily battles continue, (BMs numbering between 4 and 20, with mucus, blood and pain, fatigue, and satanic moods -thanks steroids!!!) - I know these will subside as soon as the 6MP fully kicks in around the 6 month mark. But will it continue to work? It hasn't in the past. The hope for an evaluation in Boston is a knowledge of a better cocktail that will sustain the equilibrium for longer than two or three months at a time. If I could have that, then I could conquer the world, Pinky!!!! Or you know, stay employed and maybe finish college.

Now. . . where to fit that life part in again?

Monday, February 21, 2011

What's It like?

So I was recently asked (well, texted) by a very good friend what it is like to deal with a chronic illness everyday. She is dealing with some ongoing issues of her own, and having trouble understanding the everyday handling of said issues. This is usually the point in the conversation that I would refer someone to "The Spoon Theory".


"The Spoon Theory" is an awesome story written by Christine Miserandino, explaining what it is like to live with Lupus on a daily basis. The long of the short of it: those with chronic illnesses have only so many units of expendable energy. Before using any unit or "spoon" you have to think ahead through your whole day, save spoon units you may need for things you have to do, and how external forces can affect the number of spoons you have. It is a lesson on how a chronically ill person is unable to do everything at once, how to keep an extra "spoon" in your pocket for emergencies.

It is an excellent way of explaining everything: the need to constantly think ahead, the emotional toll it can take, the hidden blessing in the struggle. While it helps, it is different for those with Crohn's. And she had already read it. So how to explain it further?


This past month my beloved VW got caught in a snow bank, and in the trouble of getting it pulled out I broke the reverse gear (and as it turns out did additional damage to the transmission - but that's a different and longer story). For two weeks, while waiting for time and money to get my car fixed, I had to drive around without a reverse gear. Every time I left the house I had to think ahead to where I was going. Did I know how to get there? If I got lost, would there be places I could turn around without having to back up? Did they have parking where I could pull through the space and not have to back out? I had to cancel plans with friends whom lived in-town where only parallel parking was available. I had to use two parking spaces when going to work.


Aha! Again: constantly thinking ahead. Can I get where I'm going without having to use the bathroom? Are there clean and accessible bathrooms? At restaurants, is their food I can eat?


So, not only how many "spoons" I have on a daily basis, but is their parking for my "spoons"? Okay the analogy isn't perfect, I'm working on it, but it's a start. Just like me.



Check out the official spoon theory: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/

New Funny Book by fellow blogger!

John Bradley recently released his new book The Foul Bowel:101 Ways to Survive and Thrive with Crohn's. Bradley, a British Crohnie, has been thriving with Crohn's for 30+ years. His blog can be found here: http://www.foulbowel.com/12112.html.

Check it out! He has a great sense of humor - a necessity in life, and in Crohn's.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Abbreviations and Acronyms and terms. . .

A short list of Abbreviations and Acronyms and other terminology I will frequently use:

BMs - Bowel Movements
"The Doc" - My GI, who shall remain nameless
GI - Gastroenterologist
GP - General Practitioner

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

My Story - Part One

From the best of my recollection this is what my experience has been.

For as long as I can remember (probably around age of six or seven), I have had stomach aches, random diarrhea, fatigue and joint pain. I was a slender little kid, wearing slim sizes until puberty, and its associated weight gain, hit.


The stomach aches were dismissed by my school nurses and my pediatricians as a "nervous stomach". It was true that my abdominal pain and intermittent diarrhea seemed to increase in times of stress - whenever I had a test or big project or book report due. The joint pains were accounted for a "growing pains". I remember waking up in the middle of the night with charlie horses in my calves so badly, I would scream, waking my parents up. Heat, calf rubs and ibuprofen took care of those. The tiredness? I was an active, growing child and "needed the rest". Sure every kid needs a nap - but after every soccer or field hockey practice and game? After every birthday party or sleepover?


This continued through to high school. And so did labels: hypochondriac, "emotional" (how can having emotions, as a human, be not "normal"? And what is "normal? - another topic for another time - I digress).

Senior year of high school beginning in the fall, I lost more and more weight. My jeans began falling off of me. I came home exhausted from school everyday and by the end of October was too exhausted to get up and even go to school. I was missing more days than I was attending. After going to see my GP (General Practitioner) - the same who told me three months earlier I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and needed merely to increase fiber in my diet - she sent me to a GI (Gastroenterologist).

He listened to my history, looked at me, looked at recent blood work and told me he thought I had Crohn's Disease and scheduled me for a colonoscopy. As I began to get tearful the Doc asked what my worst fear was - I told him the big "C": cancer. The Doc told me at my age of 17 that would be highly unlikely.

I had never heard of Crohn's Disease, didn't know anyone who had it. My parents had heard of it, but didn't really know what it was. We went home and googled it. I remember sitting at my father's desk in his office in our house, breaking out into tears, saying "I don't want to have this."

Prepping for the colonoscopy was the worse part of the whole colonoscopy experience. This was back in 1999 - the days of the Fleet Phosphosoda prep. If you haven't experienced this delightful "drink": imagine taking a cup of water and dissolving as much baking soda into it as it will allow. Then drink it as fast as you can without simultaneously barfing. Within an hour you begin to have frequent, painful BMs (bowel movements). You have to undergo this experience (if I remember correctly) three or four times. Until your BMs are watery and clear. And throughout this you are only permitted to have clear liquids - no solid food, and nothing red or purple colored. Red or purple appears like blood through the scope. And so I underwent through a day of this.

The next day I awoke, and my mom drove me to the hospital, where I was hooked up to an IV for fluids and anesthesia. They wheeled me into the endoscopy suite and shot some of the "good drugs", the stuff that makes you happy and sleepy, into my IV. I woke up to The Doc saying "Emily, you have Crohn's disease." I responded with "Thank God". I finally had a name to everything that had been going on for the past ten years. And even better, something that had an established treatment.

The Doc told me my "Thank God" was the weirdest response he had ever had to a colonoscopy result.

History to be continued. . .